Why We Don’t Talk About Mental Health at Home, And Why It’s Time We Did

In many Kenyan households, conversations about mental health remain minimal, if not entirely absent. Emotional expression is often viewed as a private matter or even a sign of weakness, and mental illness continues to be misunderstood and stigmatized. While these attitudes are deeply rooted in culture, tradition, and historical context, the consequences of silence are becoming increasingly evident.

Historically, mental health in Kenya, and in many parts of Africa, has been perceived through a lens of stigma, fear, or even superstition. Individuals showing signs of psychological distress may be labelled as “mad” or thought to be possessed, rather than recognized as people in need of professional help and support. In such an environment, it is no surprise that many families prefer to keep mental health issues out of everyday conversations.

Moreover, the pressure to “be strong” is deeply ingrained. Emotional vulnerability is rarely modelled or encouraged, especially among older generations, where survival, resilience, and stoicism were essential to navigating difficult social and economic conditions. Expressing fear, sadness, or anxiety may be interpreted as indulgent or self-pitying, rather than as a natural human response to life’s challenges.

The effects of avoiding mental health conversations extend beyond individual distress. Over time, the emotional silence within a household can reshape how family members relate to one another.

The absence of mental health conversations in many Kenyan homes is not accidental, it’s the product of deeply layered factors. Culturally, mental illness has long carried a heavy stigma, often misunderstood as weakness, spiritual failure, or even a curse. In some communities, mental health is still associated with shame, secrecy, or danger. This makes it difficult for families to even acknowledge emotional suffering, let alone talk about it openly.

Emotional literacy is another barrier. Many parents and guardians were never taught how to identify or name their own feelings, let alone support someone else through theirs. For generations raised with a “get on with it” mentality, emotional expression can feel foreign or uncomfortable. Children, in turn, may grow up believing that their emotions are either invalid or a burden.

There is also a fear of confrontation. Talking about mental health often uncovers deeper issues; grief, trauma, relationship breakdowns, that families may not be ready to address. In such situations, silence feels safer than stirring emotional waters that have remained undisturbed for years.

Finally, there is a practical component: many families are consumed with financial stress, caregiving responsibilities, and the daily struggle to survive. In that context, emotional conversations are sometimes viewed as a luxury, reserved for those who “have time” or who live “soft lives.”

Without open communication, misunderstandings become common. For instance, a withdrawn teenager may be labelled as “disobedient” when in reality, they are battling anxiety or depression. A parent silently struggling with burnout may come across as angry or cold. These misinterpretations lead to tension, mistrust, and emotional distance.

Children raised in emotionally silent homes may also grow up feeling unsupported or unseen. They may learn to suppress their feelings to keep the peace, internalizing the belief that emotional needs are not worth expressing. This can result in generational cycles of emotional avoidance, where children eventually replicate the same patterns in their adult relationships or parenting styles.

Additionally, the absence of safe dialogue can make it difficult for families to resolve conflict in healthy ways. Small disagreements escalate into major rifts because there are no shared tools for expressing vulnerability or seeking understanding.

Ultimately, a lack of mental health dialogue weakens the emotional foundation of the family. It creates households where people live together physically but remain disconnected emotionally, often caring deeply for each other, but not knowing how to show it.

Creating a culture of openness around mental health in the home can be transformative. When family members are encouraged to express their feelings without fear of judgment, they are more likely to seek help when needed and to support others who may be struggling.

Normalizing mental health conversations helps dispel myths and reduces stigma. It allows children to recognize and articulate their emotions, and it reminds adults that asking for help is not a weakness, but an act of self-awareness and strength.

Therapy, too, plays an important role in this shift. Engaging with mental health professionals offers individuals and families the tools to communicate more effectively, manage stress, and understand themselves and each other more deeply.

Mental health is not a foreign or modern issue; it exists in every home, regardless of socioeconomic background, religion, or geography. The sooner we begin to speak about it openly, the sooner we can build healthier, more emotionally resilient families.

Let us choose to foster homes where it is safe to say, “I’m struggling,” and where that statement is met with empathy rather than silence. Healing often begins with a single conversation—and it is a conversation worth having.