COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS: The Many Faces of Distortion

A distorted thought, or cognitive distortion, is an exaggerated pattern of thinking that isn't based on facts. This leads to a more negative perception of situations than reality warrants. In other words, cognitive distortions make you believe negative things about yourself and the world that aren't necessarily true.

Our thoughts significantly influence how we feel and behave. When you accept these negative thoughts as facts, you may perceive yourself and act based on incorrect assumptions.

Everyone experiences cognitive distortions occasionally; it's part of being human. This is especially true when we're feeling down. However, frequent negative thinking can harm your mental health.

You can learn to recognize cognitive distortions, so you'll know when your mind is deceiving you. Then, you can reframe and redirect your thoughts to reduce their negative impact on your mood and behaviour.

Here's a closer look at cognitive distortions:

• Overgeneralization Overgeneralization occurs when you extrapolate a single negative incident into an ongoing pattern of failure and setback. This mindset often incorporates absolute terms like "always," "never," "everything," and "nothing." This tendency to overgeneralize can extend beyond personal experiences to how you perceive the world. Example If you're late for work and hit a red light, you might lament, "Nothing ever goes smoothly for me!"

• Catastrophizing Catastrophizing is akin to swiftly jumping to conclusions. It involves envisioning the worst possible outcome in any given situation, regardless of its likelihood. This cognitive distortion often manifests through a series of "what if" queries. Numerous questions may stem from a single event. Example What if my alarm fails to sound? What if this leads to me being tardy for the crucial meeting? What if, as a consequence, I lose my job despite dedicating considerable effort to it?

• Personalization Personalization can lead to the misconception that you bear responsibility for occurrences that are, in actuality, beyond your complete or partial control. This cognitive distortion often results in you feeling guilty or assigning blame without contemplating all factors involved. Moreover, personalization often entails taking matters personally. Example Your friend is talking about their personal beliefs regarding parenting, and you take their words as an attack against your parenting style.

• Filtering Filtering involves focusing exclusively on the negatives in a situation, ignoring any positives. Even if a situation or person has more positive aspects than negative ones, you only concentrate on the negatives. Example: During your company's performance review, your manager praises your hard work several times but offers one suggestion for improvement. Despite the praise, you leave the meeting feeling miserable, fixating on that single suggestion all day. 

• Discounting the positive Discounting the positive resembles filtering. The key contrast is that you disregard it as insignificant when looking at the positive aspects. Example When someone compliments your appearance today, you interpret it as mere politeness.

• Blaming Blaming involves holding others accountable for your emotions. The phrase “You made me feel bad” typically exemplifies this thought pattern. While it's true that others may act in ways that can be hurtful, you generally have control over your own emotions in most situations. The distortion lies in the belief that others have more influence over your life than you do. Example Your partner remarks on your new dress, leaving you upset for the remainder of the day. You say to them, “You make me feel bad about myself.”

• Polarization or All-or-Nothing Thinking Polarized thinking involves viewing yourself and the world in extreme terms, without recognizing any middle ground. When you adopt a black-and-white perspective, excluding any nuances, this cognitive distortion takes hold and can lead to failure. All-or-nothing thinking often creates very unrealistic expectations for yourself and others, potentially harming your relationships and drive. Example You've committed to eating healthily, but today, you didn't have time to prepare a meal and ate a juicy bacon burger instead. This makes you think you've completely ruined your healthy eating plan, so you decide to give up on it altogether.

• Jumping to conclusions This occurs when you hastily interpret a situation in a negative light, lacking evidence to support your conclusion. Subsequently, you act based on this presumption. This tendency to jump to conclusions, often termed "mind-reading", typically arises from lingering thoughts or concerns of yours. Example Your partner returns home appearing solemn, instead of inquiring about their well-being, you immediately deduce they're upset with you. Consequently, you maintain your distance. However, the reality may be that your partner simply had a rough day at work.

• Always being right This desire turns into a cognitive distortion when it overshadows everything else, including evidence and other people’s feelings. In this cognitive distortion, you see your own opinions as facts of life. This is why you will go to great lengths to prove you’re right. Example One sibling is convinced that their parents haven't supported them enough consistently, while the other believes support varied depending on circumstances. The disagreement escalates as one sibling becomes angry and continues the argument despite sensing the other's distress.

• Control fallacies The word fallacy refers to an illusion, misconception, or error. Control fallacies are rooted in the perception of either excessive responsibility or control, or complete lack of control over one's life and the lives of others. Example You fail to complete a report on time, you say that your boss is overworking you and that everyone was so loud at the office. You attribute your failures solely to external influences, denying your role in it. This is an external control fallacy. Alternatively, another form of control fallacy involves believing that your actions significantly affect the emotions and well-being of others, assuming responsibility for their happiness or unhappiness.

• Fallacy of fairness The fallacy of fairness involves evaluating each action and circumstance based on a fairness scale. When others don't share your perception of fairness, it breeds resentment. This cognitive distortion often leads to conflicts in relationships and situations as you strive for everything to adhere to your personal fairness standards. Example: You anticipate your partner to return home and give you a foot massage. It seems only fair since you spent the afternoon preparing dinner. However, they come back tired and opt for a bath instead. From their perspective, it's fair to take a moment to unwind from the chaos of the day so they can fully engage with you and enjoy the dinner without being drained.

• Fallacy of Change The fallacy of change involves believing that others will alter their behaviour to meet your expectations or needs, especially if you exert enough pressure on them. Example: You want your partner to prioritize spending time with you, even though they have always been very social and enjoy being with friends. Each time they go out, you express your disapproval. You believe that, over time, they will adjust and prefer to stay home all the time.

• Should Statements "Should" statements are cognitive distortions that act as rigid personal rules for yourself and others, ignoring the specifics of situations. You believe things must be a certain way without any exceptions. Although you might think these "should" statements are motivational, changes in circumstances can lead to anger, frustration, guilt or disappointment when you can't meet these standards. Example You might think people should always be punctual. For yourself, you might believe you should always make others laugh. You constantly tell yourself, "You should be better."

• Emotional Reasoning Emotional reasoning makes you think that your emotions accurately reflect reality. This cognitive distortion can be summarized as, “I feel this way about the situation, so it must be true.” This type of thinking can also make you believe that your emotions dictate future events. Example Feeling inadequate in a certain context becomes, “I don’t belong anywhere.”

• Global Labelling Labelling or mislabelling involves taking a single characteristic and generalizing it into an absolute judgment, often negative and extreme. This occurs when you evaluate and then categorize yourself or others based on a singular event without considering the broader context. Labelling others can potentially cause friction in your relationships. When you label yourself, it can damage your self-esteem and confidence, resulting in feelings of insecurity and anxiety. Example You see a colleague putting on makeup before a meeting and you call them "shallow".

How do we stop cognitive distortions and negative thinking?

Most irrational patterns of thought can be reversed once recognized, including negative thinking. Still, cognitive distortions sometimes coincide with mental health conditions, like personality disorders. This makes it more challenging to reframe. Seeking support from a mental health professional can be beneficial if the process feels daunting. Meanwhile, try to remember that it’s not the events themselves but rather your thoughts about them that cause distress. You may be unable to control the events, but you can work on redirecting distorted thoughts.